^{issue no. 7}

hi my loves,

We meet again! I’ve been so excited to write this one. This topic has been on the list since day one: love — how we show it, how we feel it, and how we try to show up for the people we care about. My favorite love stories are still the tragic, heart-wrenching kind, but I’m grateful that you very alive, thriving humans have reminded me what love looks like in real life.

This one will be a little different. I had ideas of what we’d cover and was mostly right about a few of you (obviously), but there were surprises from the rest of the crew & a few of this week’s newbies. I’ve also been deep in my chart-making era (thanks, work) so yes… there are pie charts. I was feeling fancy.

My sleep has been garbage this week. I’m staying up too late, annoying the cats and reading at 4am. So you’ll find a short reading list somewhere along the way with pieces that resonated with me or tied into our talks. Did I also include a few music suggestions? Absolutely. There’s something for the healed ones and for anyone circling back to something old.

I hope your weekend gives you chances for new conversations, little sparks, or just fun questions with the people around you. I’ll be out touching grass, hugging my people, and maybe finally making it to a yoga class. Let’s meet back here next week.

- with love, your not-so-secret lover girl, slig

is my love being lost in translation?

💬💗

What's your love language? And which one is the hardest for you to receive?

Let’s see what the charts revealed.

Quality Time takes the crown! 👑 Most of us show love by just being there. Some prefer planned moments, others are happy with any kind of time together. It’s simple, but it works. Just show up.

Some of you couldn’t pick just one, so I added another chart to capture the bonus love languages.

The most common combo of top love languages? Quality Time + Physical Touch. Spending time and connecting physically go hand in hand for most of you.

Fun fact: the people that picked Gifts as their primary love language? Don’t switch it up and stand ten toes down in their choice. The rest of you - Quality Time, Physical Touch or Words of Affirmation people love a little variety.

When it comes to the love languages that are harder to receive, Words of Affirmation took the lead (even though it’s also the one most of you crave) 🤏. The things we want most can also be the hardest to accept.

Unexpectedly, Gifts didn’t land well here. Dating anyone in this group? Don’t start an apology with a present if you want to see them again 😅 (already rethinking Christmas… maybe an escape room as a group bonding activity instead)

The Acts of Service crew? They’ll show up for you in every way possible. Let someone return the favor? Absolutely not. It doesn’t make sense, but we love you for it.

Looks like we’ve all got some work to do with Words of Affirmation (me included).

Next week’s goal: let the kind words land, believe them, and soften a little. It’s time to let people use their words to love us. 💕

a little reflection on love

“I think love is getting frustrated with someone over and over again, but always wanting to return to them. It’s being curious about who they might be today, while still remembering who they were yesterday. It’s resting in the fact that even on the messiest of days, they still want to know you, and you them.”

— Carina, To Be Loved Is to Be Known (Substack) Read more

where love lands

We’re leaning in a bit further with two more questions about love.

💬💗

What makes you feel the most loved?

the small details:

• I think either someone truly knowing me, like silly little things or big things I don't even see in myself, OR someone holding me quietly when I'm very sad

• when people remember the tiny things i say without me having to repeat them. the little details matter to me… my favorite coffee, how i talk about loving washington and its gloominess, or just checking in because they noticed my tone felt off. it’s those small, quiet gestures that make me feel safe and cared for, like i can finally exhale

• There is nothing like a hug from my kids. The older they get the more powerful it becomes (Probably because they do it less).

• Doing things to show your appreciation makes me feel the most loved.

• In that quiet moment right before the end when we’re about to part ways for the day, the evening, or the week and someone hugs me tight.

time well spent:

• Spending time together. Even to just be each other space. Even a phone call doing nothing but listening to each other breathe. 

• When my fiancé and I take the time to really spend time together

feeling seen, heard or understood:

• I think I feel most loved when I feel understood and comfortable in a relationship

• I feel the most loved when my feelings and thoughts are heard and I feel seen.. Not feeling judged when I’m vulnerable in any capacity. Holding space for every side of me makes me feel like a person is showing me I’m loved.

• I feel the most loved when other girls tell me I’m kind. Making friends is hard but I like that I’m noticed and that my heart is seen

• When I’m deep in a depressive episode, people let me gnome in their house. They feed me, turn on the tv, and make sure I move a little. They see that I’m stuck in there, but they know I’ll come out again eventually. I might feel hopeless, but I also feel the most loved in those moments. 🐌

opening your heart (wallet):

• Owwwe…Spending all your money on meeeee (in my fergie voice)

💬💗

How do you show up for yourself in love?

finding meaning in the mundane:

• showing up for myself in love means slowing down and actually letting myself live in the moment. choosing rest over rushing, making meals that feel like comfort, enjoying washington’s gray skies without wishing for sunshine. i’ve been learning that love for myself doesn’t have to look like big changes sometimes it’s just giving myself grace, breathing, and realizing i’m already where i’m meant to be. it also looks like slow mornings, coffee while the sky’s gray, farmers markets, and time w/ K. i’m learning that love doesn’t always have to be loud sometimes it’s just quiet peace on a cloudy day.

• I still live my life, I don’t get caught up in love and get lost in it.  

intentional self-care:

• I show up for myself in love in forms of self-care emotionally/mentally, physically, & spiritually 

• Taking a workout class I like or taking a nap if I’m overwhelmed.

• I show myself love by taking care of myself. Hour long showers, taking the time to do my makeup, telling myself I’m on real hot girl shit

with honesty:

• I show up for myself by being honest and learning to recognize when things are right for me. Loving myself through uncomfortably and not settling. Being hard yet soft with myself is the utmost importance. 

• I think I show up for love by trying 😅 That sounds kinda shitty but there's not much I really want to work towards and give it my all but love is one of the few

• I don't know what to say for this one. Just learning to be appreciated and accepting love

thinking about self-love…

“It took time and working on myself to realize that I’m the only one who has to live inside my brain, so I might as well make it a nice place to live. I might as well just love myself. I think I’m great—and I don’t think that’s narcissistic to say. I’m a good person, and I really do feel like somebody will be lucky to fall in love with me.”

— Olivia Dean, Harper’s Bazaar, Oct 10, 2025 Read the full interview

the view from here

A quick vibe check before we land

💬💗

What does love look like for you today?

A. Texting first (even if it’s just a meme) ▓ 5%
B. Taking a nap ▓▓▓ 15%
C. Saying “I’m proud of you” ▓▓▓▓ 20% 🐌
D. Making plans and actually following through ▓▓▓▓▓▓ 30%
E. Letting the day unfold without trying to fix/prove anything ▓▓▓▓▓▓ 30%

🐌 I promise to be back next week & more like myself

^{k, thanks.
love you! bye!
Sent from my sad little desktop™}